Insight Into Emotions
Our emotions are very much a part of us, and a deeper understanding of their importance can provide further insight into helping our children. Daniel Goleman, in Emotional Intelligence, wrote that all emotions are, in essence, impulses to act, the instant plans for handling life that evolution has instilled in us (1995, p. 6). He further stated -
The very root of the word 'emotion' is "motere," the Latin verb "to move," plus the prefix "e-" to connote "move away," suggesting that a tendency to act is implicit in every emotion. In our emotional repertoire each emotion plays a unique role, as revealed by their distinctive biological signatures. With new methods to peer into the body and brain, researchers are discovering more physiological details on how each emotion prepare the body for a different kind of response (1995, p. 6).
How does this relate to children? When there is a loss, small or big, this triggers an emotion, a movement within. Some emotions are expressed and healed, and others are suppressed and become wounds. If this process of expression is supported, the child's emotional immune system does its work. However, without an outlet, a core infection sets in, and depending on the severity of the loss, causes destructive consequences (Dhaese, 2006). Children's reaction to loss and their responses to the challenges that follow are striking (Jarrett, 1982).
Goleman cited that it is difficult to focus when feeling worried, angry, anxious, or sad. Some students get caught up in these states and have difficulty learning. Attention is diverted to being preoccupied with thoughts of helplessness, hopelessness, and despair. The "working memory," the part of the mind that holds information relevant to a task at hand, is swamped with emotional overwhelm (1995, p. 6).
While young children may not have the adequate cognitive skills to talk about their hurts or losses, this does not mean they are not grieving. Grief often manifests itself in feelings, actions, thoughts, and behavior. The muscles of the body begin to express in symbolic form what the mind cannot relate. The story of grief unfolds before our eyes in the language of movement, behavior, and play (White, 2003).
A holistic approach, one that recognizes and honors all levels of being--physical, emotional, cognitive, and spiritual--supports the unfolding of emotional expression. One aspect of this is to provide a safe environment with our patience and compassionate presence as we witness and reflect a child's movement and play.
Emotions are an important part of who we are. Having an understanding of children and an awareness of their emotions allows inner healing to take place, so that learning blossoms and the joys of life are fully experienced.
With Peace,
Shirley Rivera
*441-3839
*srivera@midpac.edu
Posted on September 4, 2008 1:52 PM | Permalink