This the third, and last, of a three-part series of articles on "What Makes Kids Care?"

What About Effects of the Outside World?

Parents understandably worry that their effort at home can be undermined by outside influences, such as their children's friends, daily violence in their own neighborhoods, television shows and movies, or a culture that exalts "heroes" who are selfish.

There are a few things that you can do to help counteract these influences. for instance:

* Give them books that promote compassionate behavior. Keep in mind, though, that kids -- especially teenagers -- don't like characters who are goody-two-shoes, so look for books about "ordinary" characters who perform acts of caring and concern.

* A study at the National Institute of Mental Health found that children who see kindness on television tend to imitate it. For this reason, you may want to limit their viewing of violent programs and encourage them to watch shows that promote ideas about caring and helping.

* Find out about the movies your children want to see: are they excessively violent, do they glamorize criminals or people who get ahead at the expense of others, do they glorify violence to people or animals? While you can't shield your children from everything, a little discussion can go a long way. Ask them to think about what they saw and to consider other approaches the characters might have taken.

* Educate your children about famous altruists. Local museums can provide an inexpensive and enjoyable way to do this, as can television specials and books. Talk to them about whom they admire, and why.

Teaching Gentleness in a Violent World
It seems as though we are surrounded by violence and cruelty. According to the National Crime Survey, almost 3 million crimes occur on or near school campuses every year; that's 16,000 per school day, or one every 6 seconds. A recent study on domestic violence found that many high school boys thought it was all right for a boy to strike his girlfriend if she angered him; meanwhile, during the early 1980's, nearly 17,000 people were killed by their domestic partners.

In a world where violence and cruelty seem to be common and almost acceptable, a lot of parents wonder what they can do to help their children become 'kinder and gentler'--to develop a sense of caring and compassion for others. Raising kids who care isn't a solution to violence by itself, but you might worry that being exposed to a lot of violence -- whether it's on television or on the streets -- could make your children 'hard' and uncaring.

As parents and teachers, we often provide an enriching cognitive and physical skills environment but sometimes ignore addressing the affective domain. In Young Children, a journal from the National Association for the Education of Young Children (Jan 2000), Susan Turner refers to this domain as the essence of a person’s spirit that gives them life, their uniqueness, and their spark of fire. She refers to this as “canto hondo,” the deep song. We often expand a young child’s mind but forget to equally do the same for his or her soul.